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“You Know You’re a Quarantine Parent When….” A Top Ten List

Topics: Women, Children, Community

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  1. BABY WIPES ARE BACK IN STOCK becomes a text message worth of all caps.
  2. Your job has moved from frowning upon social media use during the day to be the metrics in which your job performance is measured.
  3. When you simply must take the tiny humans into a grocery store you make them dress up as Doc McStuffins complete with mask and gloves, you stuff them into the double stroller and pull a cart behind you so that they won’t come in contact with any surface within the store.
  4. The laundry seemingly doubles in quantity to the pre-quarantine levels, even though your family is residing in pajamas around the clock.
  5. You suddenly realize that teachers deserve at least a 50% pay raise. Actually, make that a 100% raise.
  6. When making dinner you google recipes using a can of beans, frozen peas, and tortillas.
  7. You try your hardest to convince your toddler that their favorite cereal just looks a little different, when in reality it is the “other” brand because their favorite has been out of stock for 3 weeks.
  8. When your child asks to go to their favorite arcade, trampoline park, or other expensive hang-out spot, and instead of lying that it is closed, you can confidently say it is closed. Today. Tomorrow. And every day for the foreseeable future.
  9. March 1, 2020: I limit my child’s screen time to just 15 minutes a day.
    April 1, 2020: My child has binge watched all 376 episodes of Daniel Tiger. Twice.
  10. The amount of snacks consumed in one day outweighs the amount of food your kid ate from their lunch box in a week.

Posted by Sarah Area on Apr 8, 2020 2:02:47 PM

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